Today

"What would I do without them??"

I know what you would do. You would miss them every day. You would be reminded of the memories constantly. It would feel like you got the wind knocked out of you every time you see them. And you'd cry. A lot.

I would know, cause I've done it.

Then after months of all of the above, you would be forgotten. Life would go on. You would forget about them long enough to enjoy yourself with others. You will occaisonally recall some of the best times together, or some of your favorite conversations. Just because it's in the past, doesn't mean it wasn't a part of your life. A big part.  But some things that can't be changed need to be forgotten.

I would know, cause that's what I'm doing now.

"Name Them"

Today as I complained to my mom about school, I recounted to her how during lunch today at school, I got milk poured on my head. He wasn't trying to be mean, but it was still embarrassing. Felt like I was in the middle of a cheesy movie. As I despaired over the feeling of being a loser, she told me to write down all of my friends names. I decided to write down something they've done for me instead of listing names because after all, it's what a person does that defines them, not their name.

He always takes my side of the story. She always listens to anything I have to say. He is always checking up on how I am doing. She sticks with me even when we're growing apart. He is always the first person to comfort me. She knows how to make me smile at any time. He makes me feel important. She values my opinion. He genuinely cares about me. She appreciates my personality.

Although these are set to specific people in my mind, they could fit with so many people I know. So that's just what I need to remember. When I feel alone, I've got so many people who care, that I know I could call at any moment. Isn't that a nice thought? No, they're not perfect, none of us are. But we have the ability to love and appreciate people, and I think that's the loveliest thing about life.

Super Hero

Today in a class I was asked "what super power do you want?" I answered with invisibility, because why not actually be invisible when you already feel that way? But let me tell you, being invisible gets old, fast. You want someone, anyone, to stop you in the hall and talk about anything. Or call you on a Friday night when you're not doing anything, cause you're just easily forgotten.

The sad thing is there's probably a million other people that feel the same way, but what am I doing to help them? Nothing. So I've changed my super power from being self-centered and invisible, to being able to see. See when someone feels as horrible as I do, and actually do something about it. See when someone's alone and wants someone, anyone, to say hello.  Focusing on me gets me no where, except for down.

Invisibility can wait until I'm done with high school and all I will need to focus on are my green Washington forests and countlessly growing bookshelves. Then I can be invisible.