I STILL choose to stay

Saying that we choose to stay on this earth is not meant to seem flippant or arrogant. We're simply trying to remember the positives of life and hopefully bring light to some one especially effected by this dark time. You may think that people who have posted a "choose to stay" commitment haven't felt the depth of pain that depression brings, but what do we know?

That outstandingly happy boy on the football team, who seems to have an unlimited amount of friends might be where you are, where anyone is. Thinking about life without them here.

When you see him, you see no problems. Which only intensify your own. But what you don't know is one night he broke down and told his sister about the extent of his depression, not far from taking his life.

We. Don't. Know.

It's common to say we shouldn't post about happiness because others are sad. But then where's the joy at all if we are not striving, every day, to find it somewhere in our lives.

We are in charge of our fate. In the end, no amount of work the student body, administrators, or any amount of loved ones can make a decision for you.

So all I'm asking is try. Try to think of one thing worth staying for because I believe that if our Knights in heaven could speak to us know, they would remind us that life is precious. No matter how small there are things to look forward to, things to remember when you're sight is crowded with smoke.

Let's all try to come together now and always instead of tearing the school, faculty, and people apart. Spread joy, hope, and remind as many as possible, there are reasons to live.

I choose to stay.

I choose to stay because  there's so much to do. So many books to read. So many songs to find. So many people to meet. So many different flavors of ice cream to try. So many roads to drive. So many movies to cuddle during. So many laughs with future children. So many outfits I get to pick out. So many ways I can do my hair. So many Saturday afternoons where the world stands still for a minute. So many pairs of shoes to try on. So many blankets to feel. So many stolen laughs during school with a friend. So many Sunday nights to contemplate where I'm going in life. So many recipes to actually try and succeed. So many tests I can learn from. So many people that know so much more than me. They've made it this far, and so I choose to now.

No matter how hard life gets, and it will get hard, this is my way of reminding me that I already promised my self that I'm staying. You've made if this far, and you're still young. There's still so many things to experience, this is not the end.

I am loved. You are loved. We are loved. We don't need sticky notes on every locker to remind us. We don't need cliché pieces of paper passed around, we need to act. Don't be a pile of words, show the people you know that you care. And if you don't care, find something to care about. Life can't be enjoyed when apathy is involved.

Chose to stay now, and don't let your decision change the minute you're diploma is handed to you.

Over-reacting

He said hi today. After what felt like a year of being ignored, he finally acknowledged my existence again. I don't know whether to feel excited or completely upset. I mean maybe he's just trying to be nice but he can't believe I would want to be his friend again after months of getting used to not talking.

I don't know, I'm probably just over-reacting. I tend to do that a lot. Everyone does I guess. Over-reacting about everything from a simple hello to getting a boys number, but knowing it's no big deal. I just need to chill, but so does everyone else.